Do You Understand Your Emotional Intelligence?

There has been a lot said over the past several years about the EI of individuals and how one really needs to understand the value of it in business. Certainly if you at least understand what EI is you can see how it works in business by:

• recognizing the impact of EI abilities have on your professional development and career;
• understanding how to minimize counterproductive tendencies
• how it can help in managing challenges and personal interactions
• evaluating your current EI mood
• how to recognize verbal and non-verbal cues to better understand people. 

These are just a few ways EI can help in the workplace so understanding your own EI is extremely important in today's world.  

So what are some of the key characteristics of EI:

1. Aware of thoughts and feelings and their impact on behavior.

Emotionally intelligent people tend to have a high level of self-awareness that enables them to know how they are reacting to the social and physical environment and how this is influencing their response. They can distinguish between issues they feel strongly about and possibly be hypersensitive to and issues that are relatively neutral to them. More important, they are aware of the tendency to project their own thoughts and feelings on to other people and are careful to distinguish between there own issues and those of others.

2. Aware of strengths, weaknesses and vulnerabilities and open to feedback from others.

Emotionally intelligent people are well in touch with their potential and do not play themselves down with a false sense of humility. They also know and accept that there are areas in their life where they need to develop, issues they need to resolve, and personal characteristics they need to work on. They are not afraid of being vulnerable because they accept that they have strengths and weaknesses. They have a sense of security that enables them to accept challenging feedback and encourage others to give them honest feedback about their work performance and how they come across inter-personally.

3. Able to contain intense negative or positive emotions without losing control.

Emotionally intelligent people are able to experience a full range of emotions including intense anger, frustration, hurt, joy, pleasure, etc. However, the behavioral manifestation of their emotions is moderated by an awareness of the consequences of their behavior and a clear focus on what needs to be achieved. This is one of the more challenging characteristics of emotional intelligence because while remaining natural and spontaneous emotionally intelligent people will harness their expression of what they are feeling and behave in a situationally appropriate and effective way.

4. Clear about values and principles that are consistent with actions.

Emotionally intelligent people usually show a high level of consistency between what they believe, what they say, and what they do. The alignment of these three elements reduces internal conflict and enables them to be clear about their decisions that are usually value or principle based. This results in honest and fair dealings with other people, avoiding the use of deception. Leaders who manage to be this way earn a high degree of respect, trust and credibility in organizations.

5. Proactive and persistent in achieving goals even in the face of setbacks.

Martin Luther King once said “The ultimate measure of a man (person) is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy”. Emotionally intelligent people tend to recover from setbacks and regard them as inevitable. They use setbacks as an opportunity to grow and are open to new ideas and opportunities. Furthermore they take initiative in transforming a setback into something they can maximize in terms of learning for future decisions and actions.

6. Sensitive to other people’s feelings and able to offer constructive feedback.

One characteristic that really distinguishes emotionally intelligent people is their awareness and sensitivity to other people’s feelings. Rather than being oblivious to the emotional currents around them, they are tuned to them and use people’s emotional states as important information as to how best to interact and deal with them. When offering feedback, they do so in the most constructive way keeping foremost in their mind, the other person and what, how, and much he or she can take. This focus on the “other” and a willingness to serve gives them the ability to recognize other people’s needs and what motivates them, understand the human dynamics of the people around them, and work towards creating a secure emotional climate.

7. Promote other people’s success without feeling threatened.

One of the more challenging characteristics of emotionally intelligent people especially in leadership positions is the ability and willingness to promote other people’s advancement, celebrate their success without feeling threatening by their achievements. This characteristic shows a high level of maturity and security in a person. It is also an indicator that the person’s sense of worth is not based on their social status, economic situation, or educational level but on valuing themselves as unique persons.

8. Communicate openly, and are willing and able to listen to others.

On a skills level, emotionally intelligent people are effective at communicating openly and are particularly good at listening to others and empathizing with them. They regard conflict as an inevitable part of healthy working relationships that are based on honesty and are committed to resolving conflicts fairly. They are able to offer sound arguments in a non-threatening way that respects the others’ point of view. Their arguing is not based on ridicule and domination of the other person but on sincere dialogue where diverse points of view are considered.

9. Capable of taking leading roles in work and family life.

Emotionally intelligent people seem to be naturally comfortable in leading and influencing roles. They are willing to share expertise and are constantly open to learning from others whatever their position in the organization. They regard change as positive and inevitable yet always maintain the value of continuity and preservation of what is effective.

10. Believe in the power of teams and the positive effect of synergy.

Emotionally intelligent people recognize how powerful teams can be when managed effectively. They are able to bring people together, cultivating positive relationships based on trust and cooperation. They invest time in this because they know that it is the ultimate strength that determines the health of an organization and as a result its success in achieving its objectives. Although one cannot determine with empirical certainty whether people who possess the above ten characteristics have a high level of emotional intelligence, they are surely among the key indicators of an emotionally intelligent disposition. They can be used as a quick self-analysis regarding our own attitudes and behaviors and help us to identify areas for our

ongoing development.

Hopefully this will help you as you work effectively with your C-suite colleagues and as you develop your team. Let me know if this helps you at wgstevens2@gmail.com